>> 20 June 2013
Rape her harder!
I was happy that she invited me to her place. She opened the door immediately after I rang the bill. Few seconds after she closed the door, the bill rang again. She opened the door, and a gang of men invaded the place. They were dressed in black clothes, and using black masks. They tied me on the couch, and took her to the bedroom, where they raped her in front of my eyes. In the end they hanged her in the ceiling, and slayed her. Before locking the door as they were leaving, they told me that they will leave me inside to call her husband and tell him about what happened to his wife. Then they locked the door, from outside, and left.
Kill the asshole!
My friend, the activist, was quite happy that I'm visiting his city. He did his best to show me around the city. When it started to become dark, we decided to go back to his house. He suggested to show me the place of our dead friend. The building looks like a dormitory. He opened the door with his keys. The room had one huge window. He told me that some middle-eastern looking guys came to his room and threw him out of the window.
I moved closer to the window and looked down to the grass downstairs. I remembered Soad Hosny and Ashraf Marwan. I remembered also Bakly's question "Why they chose to live in such high floors?”
I looked to the window again. It looks like my window. I live now in the 7th floor!!
I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. Then a girl, whom I don’t know, entered. She started taking off her clothes, and then she went to the shower. Her unshaved red pubic hair didn’t look nice. She was ignoring me totally, and reacting as if I’m not in the place at all.
I didn’t understand what’s happening. If she was seducing me, why she doesn’t send any welcoming signal, or even a smile? And if she is annoyed from me being in the place, why she doesn’t ask me to leave?
Stone the infidel!
I was walking out of Erfurt's main church. I wasn't there to pray. I was just crossing through it in my way home. They told me to avoid this way, because there are some kids throwing stones at people who are coming out of the church. I didn't listen.
I passed through some iron doors like the ones we had in our house when I was young. Then I reached outside to the sun, and the kids started throwing stones at me.
I didn't try to face them, or even to look at their faces. I covered my head with my arms to avoid injuries. The stones didn't hurt me, so I avoided the confrontation. I just cared to reach my home.
In my way, I was wondering about these kids' motive. Why they are throwing stones at people who are going out of the church? Are they Muslims? But they are just kids, how they became like that? Where are their parents?
Inside me, I was ashamed from the fact that I'm walking out of a church. I remember Kareem's comment "You are thinking in believing again!” I remember how I tried to be religious in the past, but never was able to feel better because of religion. My shame from my Christian past made me avoid confronting the kids. I don't want anyone to see me walking out of a church.
Jail the traitor!
I don't know why I had to go back to Egypt, but I realized that another military coup had happened. Soldiers, with their disgusting clothes, were everywhere. An officer told me that they canceled my military exemption, and that I have to serve in the army. I told him that this will never happen.
Soldiers kept telling me that I have to serve in the army, and I kept telling them that I won't. Then they started to grab me, to take me against my will. I resisted with violence. I pushed them back, and tore their clothes with my hand. I was very angry. I was ready even to kill, to maintain my freedom of choice.
In the end they put me in jail with a handful of other innocent people. The prison cell looked like my previous school classrooms. I told the other prisoners that all of them were arbitrary detained. None of them has committed any crime. We should start a hunger strike...They refused the idea. I looked at them and thought that they are just "slaves". They won't fight for their freedom. I have to decide on this issue on my own.
While thinking in that, I noticed something moving in my pocket. It's a small vibrator. I turned it off. This is not the proper time for that kind of instrument!
Usually when I wake up from my dreams, I wonder if this was a dream or just a memory from the past. And I'm still wondering!